Having a boy with ADHD/ODD, This time of the year is stressful for him and the people around. School is almost done, few more days before the Christmas break start. I can tell you; I cannot wait.
The fatigue begins to take on him, and that shows especially at school with his social skills. He gets annoyed pretty quick with having trouble tolerate some of his classmates. But this says I cannot blame my son as some kids do not understand when asks for staying away. Some children bully others with no shame. You can talk, give them consequences, they just don’t get it. The result when having a boy with ADHD, he anxiety goes up, hard time to fall asleep at night, and no wanting to get up in the morning to go to school. The stress takes on him pretty fast. Sometimes he deploys all his frustration on everyone at home; the reason is he feels safe to do so.
How can you help your boy?
Open communication, it ‘s number one. When your boy comes to talk to you, stop everything and listen. Truly take some time to hear what he has to tell you. He trusts you and wants to share some moments from his day with you. It is precious to take and enjoy the moment; you want to support and understand him stop for a moment.
Listen to what your child has to say, understand his trouble. It may seem nothing to you, but for him, it can mean a lot. Don’t judge how the problem is small for you as a parent; you cannot compare with your child. If he is not able to have the help, he needs from school or daycare, step in. Go to school and daycare and talk to his teacher and the director. Yes, that makes a difference. Stand up for your child, he will appreciate the support but ask first if he wants your help.
I stand for my son to have the support in place and make the life of everybody easier; he knows I am behind him when he needs my help. We have open communication.
Knowing what ‘s happened within his life at school and with his friends, allow you to explore the way you can support him. Help him better with his social skills and self-regulation.
Give your boy with ADHD the guidance he needs. Make sure he feels useful and welcome inside the family, school and daycare. It is so essential to bring and keep his self-confidence and self-esteem up. The anxiety is regulated when everything goes smoothly, and it limits the tantrum.
Routine for a boy with ADHD
A simple, clear routine is valid with a child who his diagnoses with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. The need for consistency and to know what is happening after, help your child self-regulate and behaviours issues.
The schedule helps to complete chores and playtime, but it needs to be flexible. To be successful, break the tasks in a smaller one, or your child could be overwhelming.
Dependant on your child’s age you can use imagery, it helps your child to stay in track. Place the routine in a different spot inside the home, where your child can have easy access for references. They are easy forgetful; it will give you peace of mind and less stress for you to always have to tell him what is next.
During the chores times, stay around him as he will do better if you stick closer. In case he needs support or guidance, you are accessible to any question or a helping hand.
Encourage your child a lot, praising him when he does a good job and same if he fails, he is trying his best of his abilities. The support you give to him, help him self-regulate and learning skills.
When you have ADHD, you need more outdoor activities and exercises, including a lot inside your routine. It burns their energy, helps with sleep and better health habits.
Limit all screen time; I give to my son as a reward when he does the chores I assign to him. Less stress as behaviour is more under control, without the television, phone, tablet and computer. He gets to excite when playing online games, especially when he lost. It can bring an outburst in a tantrum, and he is not able to stop playing by himself, the same with a timer. Before the time goes out, five minutes before I remind him, his time is off. He gets time to be ready mentally.
It takes time, consistency, support and love when you have a child with ADHD. If you start with communication and routine, you are sure to see some functional changes with self-regulation and behaviour. Implementing both and being consistent, it ‘s your best ally. Don’t give up after a few days or a week; it takes time to change. Success comes with the effort from both part, you as a parent and your child.